Ebony and Draco come back from the concert and have unerotic sex. Out of character Dumbledore with a headache surprises them. Draco starts being creepy. Harry's gay.
Chapter 4.
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY What. nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! OK, OK, calm down!
"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"
Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. Think about that for a second. What happens when someone just walks out of a flying car? As much as I'd love to see Ebony dying from the fall, that's not gonna happen, sadly. What was writing tip #6?
Writing tip #6: Try to make sense.
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. Department of redundancy department.
"Ebony?" he asked.
"What?" I snapped.
Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. Hahaha. She's unintentionally hilarious.
And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took off my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. LOL. What is she, twelve?
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"
It was….Dumbledore! Out of character Dumbledore is out of character.
Chapter 5.
AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Or maybe - just maybe - it means that you suck. Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! Don't you realize the only reason you get good reviews is so people can laugh at you some more?
Dumbledore made and [Random "and" inserted here for unknown reasons.] Draco and I followed him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
"You ludicrous [ludacris] fools!" he shouted.
I started to cry tears of blood [??? You should probably get that checked out.] down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.
"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.
"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. OOC, but I kinda like her.
"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.
And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"
Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." Wut? No consequences?
Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.
"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently. Draco is not gentle. Draco is a spoiled jerk and Death Eater by book 6.
"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. Yeah, 'cause we care a lot about what you're wearing. And I thought you were going to sleep. When I came out…. What? *le gasp* Don't leave us hanging!
Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. How about 'You're pitiful' by Weird Al Yankovic? I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.
Oh my god that's creepy. And she doesn't care. Maybe Tara Gilesbie is Stephenie Meyer's pen name. The similarities to Twilight are uncanny, after all.
Chapter 6.
AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!
The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. For the last time, I DON'T CARE. And also, YOU'RE A VAMPIRE. I spray-painted my hair with purple. XD
In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, [Geddit? 'Cuz she's a vampire.] and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.
"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. But you LIKE blood! I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. Gay. Gay. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. Um... You do know everyone in Harry Potter has an English accent? And he hasn't even talked yet. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. What. Gross.
"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.
"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned. But you knew before who he was, you said he didn't have a scar anymore.
"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.
"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared. Did you just... roar?
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. Maybe he kills her. Fingers crossed.
One thought: What's the point of making a Harry Potter fanfic when you don't respect cannon at all? In your story, Draco's gay, Harry's a fucked up gay sparkling pseudo-Cullen vampire wannabe, and Dumbledore is a grouchy old man.
What happened to jerk, cruel yet lovable Draco, kind, brave Potter and calm Dumbledore?
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